Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Importance Of A Sister


"The Importance Of A Sister"




A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.


A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.




When she is by your side, the world is filled with life,
When she is not around, your days are full of strife.
A sister is a blessing, who fills your heart with love,
She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove.



A companion to whom you can express your feelings,
She doesn't let you get bored at family dealings.
Whether you are having your ups or downs,
She always helps you with a smile and never frowns.



With a sister you cannot have a grudge,
She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge.
Having a sister is not just a trend,
It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend.


Brother Love


                                    "My Sweat Family"



~ Brother Love ~

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys."



~ Brother Love ~

Never make a companion equal to a brother.



~ Brother Love ~

One can be a brother only in something. Where there is no tie that binds men, men are not united but merely lined up.



~ Brother Love ~

Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.



~ Brother Love ~

Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoid er ... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled.


~ Brother Love ~

Our siblings. They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long.



~ Brother Love ~

Respect rises up so far abov
The pettiness of separate view
Differences bow b4 a luv
And friendship tht iz blood-bound, too.
You r my brother and I love you!!!



~ Brother Love ~

Row, brothers, row, the stream runs fast, The rapids are near, and the daylight's past. ~ VIVEK BOPCHE




 ~Brother Love ~

I am your brother
Your Best friend forever..
Singing the songs
The music that you like
We're brothers til the end of time
Together or not
You're always in my heart
Your hurting feelings...
In you will reign no more.



~Brother Love ~

Brothers don't necessarily have to say anything to each other - they can sit in a room and be together and just be completely comfortable with each other. ~ Leonardo dicaprio



~Brother Love ~

Caring brother like you is more then a friend and lover



~ Brother Love ~

Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply...



~ Brother Love ~

Community cannot for long feed on itself; it can only flourish with the coming of others from beyond, their unknown and undiscovered brothers. ~ Howard Thurman



~ Brother Love ~

Dear brother
No matter
Where u are!
I want u 2 know u are special 2 us
And will alwaz be in our thoughts!


Stages of a Friendship

"Stages of a Friendship"


So here are five stages that I've identified so far.  I’d love your input on whether you think this helps capture the process?  What stage am I missing? What has been your experience, over the long-haul with your friendship development?









Curiosity : 
This is where every friendship begins.  There has to be something that attracts you, gives you a sense of willingness and increases your desire to have more. It doesn't have to be conscious or obvious to us, but at this stage we have to have reason to lean in, even a little, if the stranger we’re meeting is going to have a chance of becoming a friend.

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Familiarity : This is the stage we often want as stage one.  :)   We frequently want to experience this comfort level with someone upon first meeting them, forgetting that it takes time to build.  In my experience, I find that it takes most women 6-8 times with someone before they reach this stage.  Of course that depends on what you’re doing during that time and how you’re sharing, but at some point you reach this familiarity.  A trust that you can assume she wants to talk with you when you call.  An ease where you’re okay just hanging out spontaneously together without it taking two weeks to schedule.  A sense that you are beginning to be able to predict how they will respond to different life events.

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ExploratoryEvery potential friendship requires time together.  For some of us, that time happens automatically (at a play group, a choir rehearsal, yoga class or work), but for many of us, we’ll have to initiate it and pursue it.  For it doesn’t matter how much attraction you may feel in that first stage– if you don’t show up for time together– a friendship it will never become.

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Vulnerability : This stage is tricky since there is a ditch on either side: rushing to it too quickly or avoiding it all together.  Some women rush to this stage early on because they feel closer once they have shared their pain.  But healthy friendships need the commitment to grow in conjunction with the intimacy. We should not be emotionally vomiting on someone in order to feel closer.  It should not be our expectation that friends who are in the first couple of stages need to prove themselves and be there for us in extreme ways.

    On the other hand, at some point of consistent time together, if you’re not willing to share beyond your PR image, laugh at yourself and express insecurities– the friendship will stall or disintegrate.  This is where we earn the right to “cry on each others shoulder.”   This is where we are bonding in deeper ways, increasing our commitment to each other.
    ____________________




Vulnerability : This stage is tricky since there is a ditch on either side: rushing to it too quickly or avoiding it all together.  Some women rush to this stage early on because they feel closer once they have shared their pain.  But healthy friendships need the commitment to grow in conjunction with the intimacy. We should not be emotionally vomiting on someone in order to feel closer.  It should not be our expectation that friends who are in the first couple of stages need to prove themselves and be there for us in extreme ways.
    On the other hand, at some point of consistent time together, if you’re not willing to share beyond your PR image, laugh at yourself and express insecurities– the friendship will stall or disintegrate.  This is where we earn the right to “cry on each others shoulder.”   This is where we are bonding in deeper ways, increasing our commitment to each other.
    ____________________

  1. Frientimacy : This last stage is for those who are your BFFs.  And notice that I made that plural.  :)   Best doesn't speak to quantity as much as quality. It’s like when a magazine says “Best moments of last year” and lists ten.  There is enough research out there to suggest we need between 3-7 people in this category. Don’t limit yourself.  On the other hand, not everyone you interact with needs to move into this last stage.
  2. This Friendship Intimacy stage is my category for the people I trust implicitly.  We trust each others boundaries, have proven to show up as emotionally healthy people for each other and are willing to go out of our way for their benefit.  We love them.  This stage takes time.  Lots of it. For most of us, while you may see the potential and some of the benefits of it 6-12 months into the relationship, it may take even longer than that to really build the required trust and intimacy.
    ____________________


Heart Touching Love Story


"Heart Touching Love Story"

V & R


There was a blind girl who was filled with animosity and despised the world. 

She didn't have many friends, just a boyfriend who loved her deeply, like no one else. 


She always used to say that she'd marry him if she could see him. Suddenly, one day someone donated her a pair of eyes… 


And that's when she finally saw her boyfriend… 


She was astonished to see that her boyfriend too was blind… 

He told her, "You can see me now, can we get married?" 

She replied, "And do what? We'd never be happy. I have my eye sight now, but you're still blind. It won't work out, I'm sorry." 


With a tear in his eye and a smile on his face, he meekly said, "I understand. I just want you to always be happy. Take care of yourself, and my eyes." 


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"A way of Love"
V & R

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This 
romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper-cranes as a gift to his girl. 
 Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future 
doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, 
his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. 
She also told him that she couldn't visualize any future for the both of 
them, so let's go their own ways there and then ...Heartbroken, the guy 
agreed. But when he regains his confidence, he worked hard day and night, 
slogging his body and mind just to make something out of him. 

Finally with all these hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set 
up his own company. You never fail until you stop trying one rainy day, 
while this guy was driving; he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella 
the rain walking to some destination. 
Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him 
long to realize those were his girl's parents. With a heart in getting back 
at them, he droved slowly beside the couple, wanting them to 
spot him in his luxury sedan. 
He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore; he had his own 
company, car, comfort etc. He made it! Before the guy can realize, the 
couple was walking towards a cemetery, and he got out of his car and 
followed.... and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as 
ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his paper cranes beside her. 
 Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, 
for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant 
nothing to you Her parents saw him. He asks them why had this happened. 
 They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with 
cancer. 
She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be 
his obstacle ..... therefore she had choose to leave him ... 
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't 
mean they don't love you with all they have She had wanted her parents to 
put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings 
him to her again he can take some of those back with him ... 
Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may 
escape but what's in your heart will remain forever 
The guy just wept ..... The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting 
right 
beside them knowing you can't have them 

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Thursday, July 25, 2013

What is love? Five theories on the greatest emotion of all

"What is love? Five theories on the greatest emotion of all"


"What is love" was the most searched phrase on www.Vivekroshini.blogspot.in, according to the company. In an attempt to get to the bottom of the question once and for all, the Guardian has gathered writers from the fields of science, psychotherapy, literature, religion and philosophy to give their definition of the much-pondered word"

The physicist: 'Love is chemistry'

Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We talk about love being blind or unconditional, in the sense that we have no control over it. But then, that is not so surprising since love is basically chemistry. While lust is a temporary passionate sexual desire involving the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and oestrogen, in true love, or attachment and bonding, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals: pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. However, from an evolutionary perspective, love can be viewed as a survival tool – a mechanism we have evolved to promote long-term relationships, mutual defence and parental support of children and to promote feelings of safety and security.

The psychotherapist: 'Love has many guises

Unlike us, the ancients did not lump all the various emotions that we label "love" under the one word. They had several variations, including:
Philia which they saw as a deep but usually non-sexual intimacy between close friends and family members or as a deep bond forged by soldiers as they fought alongside each other in battle. Ludus describes a more playful affection found in fooling around or flirting. Pragma is the mature love that develops over a long period of time between long-term couples and involves actively practising goodwill, commitment, compromise and understanding. Agape is a more generalised love, it's not about exclusivity but about love for all of humanity. Philautia is self love, which isn't as selfish as it sounds. As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you, in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself. Last, and probably least even though it causes the most trouble, eros is about sexual passion and desire. Unless it morphs into philia and/or pragma, eros will burn itself out.
Love is all of the above. But is it possibly unrealistic to expect to experience all six types with only one person. This is why family and community are important.

The philosopher: 'Love is a passionate commitment'

The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbour, God and so on all have different qualities. Each has its variants – blind, one-sided, tragic, steadfast, fickle, reciprocated, misguided, unconditional. At its best, however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. That's why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without the commitment, it is mere infatuation. Without the passion, it is mere dedication. Without nurturing, even the best can wither and die.

V & R


Low income couples marrying less and divorcing more


"Low income couples marrying less and divorcing more"

The new research suggests that government initiatives to strengthen marriage among low-income populations should move beyond promoting the value of marriage and instead focus on the actual problems that low-income couples face.
The study, which analysed results from a survey of 6,012 people, was carried out by Dr Thomas Trail and Dr Benjamin Karney from the University of California Los Angeles.
Although previous research has shown that divorce rates are higher and marriage rates are lower among low-income populations in the US, the researchers found that on most measures low-income respondents held more traditional views towards marriage than respondents on higher incomes.
Although low-income and high-income respondents reported similar romantic standards and similar problems with relationship processes such as communication, low-income respondents were more likely than affluent couples to report that their romantic relationships were negatively affected by economic and social issues such as money problems, drinking and drug use.
“Over the past 15 years, efforts to tackle declining marriage rates and increasing divorce rates among low-income couples in the USA have been guided by assumptions about why there are fewer low-income marriages and why a higher percentage fail,” Trail said.
“The aim of our study was to separate the myth from the reality,” he said.
Previous research has focused on specific low-income groups including unmarried mothers and cohabiting couples with children.
This study is the first to use a comprehensive survey to compare the attitudes and experiences of people from a range of incomes, and the findings provide important new information about how similar people with low- and high-incomes are in their values, standards, and experiences of marriage.
The researchers solicited the views of a stratified random sample of 4,508 Florida residents, with smaller random samples from California (500), Texas (502) and New York (502).
66 percent of the respondents were female, 53 percent were married and 61 percent were white.
A further 14 percent were Black and 19 percent were from non-White or Black Latino/Hispanic communities. Interviews were conducted over the telephone and lasted an average of 27 minutes.
The average age of the respondents was just under 46 years. Self-reported income put 29 percent in the low-income category, 26 percent in the moderate-income category and 35 percent in the high-income category.
Just under 10 percent were receiving Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF).
The team found that, compared to people with higher incomes, those with lower incomes held similar values toward marriage and were less likely to approve of divorce.
However, lower income respondents were more likely than were higher income respondents to value the economic aspects of marriage, including the husband and wife having good jobs.
“Prompted by the belief that the institution of marriage is in crisis among the poor, the federal government has spent 1 billion dollars on initiatives to strengthen marriage among low-income populations,” Benjamin Karney said.
“Often these are based on the assumption that there must be something wrong with how people on low incomes view marriage or that they just are not very good at managing intimate relationships,” he said.
Vivek concluded by giving an overview of the study and its findings.
“We found that people with low incomes value marriage as an institution, have similar standards for choosing a marriage partner and experience similar problems with managing their relationships,” Trail said.
“We suggest that initiatives to strengthen marriage among the poor should also take social issues into account, as they can place a tremendous amount of stress on a marriage,” he added.
The study has been published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

Single Life On Valentine's Day



"Single Life On Valentine's Day"

                           Normally I spend most of my time as an advocate for online dating, declaring that it is the best possible way to meet women these days. And while I do believe this to be true, this Valentine's Day will be one of the few times of the year where I strongly encourage every man to power down that computer, get our there, and make magic happen the old fashioned way. You guys know what I'm talking about; the ancient notion of meeting girls at a bar. 
                          Valentine's Day is the best possible night to get out there and look for women. Any woman who is without a guy will clearly be single, and in the mood to meet that special someone. So let's take a look at a few tips on how to be successful with meeting women in the real world.

1. Be interesting. 

    Above all, we need to stay interesting at all times. When men approach women and spew out the same boring cliche questions, women lose interest fast. Try to pick unique topics and ask questions that most men don't normally ask. It is in your best interest to arrive armed with plenty of fun questions and conversation topics to keep things at an emotional high. If you ever find yourself asking, "so what do you do for a living," because you can't think of anything else to say, you are probably blowing it! These are questions that often lead to, "I have to use the bathroom", followed by a woman who never returns.

2. Monitor your body language. 

Online dating is easy. There is no face-to-face rejection so our nerves never come into play. In real life, women will be watching our every move. 

Rocking back and forth, fidgeting, slouching, and constantly touching our face, will all indicate that we are very nervous. This will be a turn-off to the women we are speaking to, and will show that we may not have much confidence. 

Get into the habit of taking control of your body. If any of these habits come up, make the conscious effort to dead them immediately. The more confident our bodies appear, the more success that we will have. 

3. Make jokes about Valentine's Day. 

  Both of you and the women you are pursuing will have one thing in common; being single on Valentine's Day. So use it as a tool to make conversation. 

Just walk up to a group of women and jokingly say, "So which one of you ladies has had the most experience dating jerks?" Then just work from there and let the opening work its magic as everyone tells there favorite bad date stories. Be prepared to have some of your own funny stories to share as well.

This will not only provoke great conversation, but can transition to plenty of other dating topics to discuss. It's a win-win on all levels.

How To Know If You're In Love By V&R



"How To Know If You're In Love"

                             You can blame all those hopes for love on romantic books and movies. They always seem to depict the kind of love that everyone wishes to feel, which is genuine and unconditional. The pressing question is how will you know that the love you have found is real and what you have been searching for?
                             When we talk about romantic love, not all love you experience is true love. Remember, there is a difference in love, lust, and infatuation. Love is a genuine feeling of affection. Lust is more likely based on physical attraction, typically involves sexual relations, and doesn't usually involve emotional attachment. Infatuation is an all consuming delusional desire to be with someone that is generally short-lived. Infatuation can be likened to a hot flame that quickly dies out. 

                             The strange and confusing part is when you are happiest because of your feeling towards this other person. There is little opportunity to contemplate your feelings and consider if the emotions you are feeling represent real love. 

                             When you are in love you think of the person every second, every minute, and every hour of your waking day. You will find yourself daydreaming about the person instead of focusing on the tasks at hand.

                             You are in love when you love unconditionally and don't notice or mind their imperfections. Yes, you might sound blind and crazy, but remember, when you are in love, you will accept this person as they are, as a whole. Of course, life and love are not always perfect. If you dare, both of you should list down the positive and negative attitude of each other. Review the lists and determine if the positives outweigh the negative. This will never be easy, but it is important. An open and honest discussion will help you decide if you can BOTH stand up and handle your relationship with its imperfections and see it as an opportunity to forge a stronger bond. 


                              When you can see the person as part of your future, you are in love. You can’t just put strangers into your life, but when you include someone in your future plans and dreams, it becomes clearer that you deeply want them to stay in your life. You can drool and fantasize over celebrities, but when it comes to the point where all your thoughts are about this person, you can bet you are in love. When you can mentally picture your wedding, growing family, and home with someone, it simply reinforces your commitment and feelings of love for this person. 

                               Love is powerful. The greatest thing on earth is to love and be loved. Just don’t forget that actions speak louder than words. It is easier to tell someone you love them than it is to show them that you love them. Words of love can be empty. You deserve to be happy and enjoy life. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you have many regrets. Weigh your love and the love the person feels for you. If you are meant to be together, no matter the difficulty, you will find a way to be together. Love takes time.




Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I'm Sorry I Never Told You How I Felt

With Love


Dear You 
Remember when we first met? 
Remember when you greeted me with a smile when I arrived to the new school I was so nervous about? 
Remember how we were so close...we could've been brother and sister? 
I, at the time, wasn't aware of my feelings for you because I was just the age of 11, still clueless about things such as love. 
I thought, at the time, I loved another who ignored me most of the time. 
I'd pay more attention to that other person than you. 
For that, i'm truly sorry. 
I regret that. 
I was just a child, curious about love, because others around me were falling in love. 
We move up a grade...still at the same school...we met some new friends...we almost forgot about each other. 
We still talked and laughed together, we were still okay. 
A year has passed again. 
We were in different classes. 
You'd still find the time to talk to me no matter the reason. 
I still wasn't aware of my feelings for you at that time. 
Again, i'm sorry. 
During that year...we slowly drifted apart...I became more embarrassed to talk to you...because at the end of that year...I decided. 
I liked you. 
The next year came around. 
We were in different classes for a while but then the classes changed and you were in my class. 
We never spoke. 
We only spoke a few words here and there in the beginning of this new year. 
As the year went by...We truly didn't speak at all. 
It seemed like we avoided each other. 
We treated each other like strangers. 
I still liked you around this time, but me being myself, I never knew what to say to you. 
I couldn't even have a normal conversation with you like I used to. 
I couldn't even face your way, because I was afraid your eyes would meet mine and there would be an awkward moment. 
A whole other year went by with me never talking to you. 
A whole other year went by with never telling you my feelings. 
This was the last year I would ever be able to see your face. 
Because you're moving soon. 
I missed my chance. 
The story of us was just a short one. 
For that again, i'm sorry. 
I'm really sorry. 


Even more, if I had simply been honest with you, I would have caught you, i'm sure of it. 











Best Of Vivek